I was reviewing some of the footage we shot in the community. My heart opened, and sweet gratitude and joy welled up for every precious and heart-warming moment. Once again, I realized that it was all for me—the movie making project, my teaching function, our movie nights and every one-on-one joining. Inside my heart, I knew from the beginning that being here was a time to bask in God’s Love for me. I have learned the most profound lessons through accepting the Love that is Present. In the state of openness and gratitude, forgiveness happened, perception shifted and perfection in everything seen. I have embarked on a journey that is so sweet, profound and loving.
My time with everyone here in the community was strong proof that all I need do is to connect with God through Spirit. My brothers want only Truth, and we connect when I see them as Who they truly are: Innocent and Whole. This experience, together with many others, took me to the place where I could let go of my helper role in the last few days. Not able to talk much to the group or offer many counseling sessions, I let go of the idea that I knew who my brothers were and how to help them. That, to say the least, was confusing to the character Frances who thought she had a role to play. Yet, all I felt in my heart was nothing but gratitude for being able to feel safe to let go of whatever self-concept I was holding.
During this transition period when an old role was being laid aside and old self-concept falling apart, I feel the presence once again of something fresh and ready for the unknown. This is also a time when things are seen in a whole and bigger perspective. I am in touch with so much gratitude! Though seen in all symbols, the source of this gratitude is beyond all people, situations and specifics. The desire to express this gratitude is burning inside, and yet I find myself incapable of expressing it in words. Only tears that flow directly from deep within my heart can seem to do it justice. Life is a constant expression of Love and Gratitude. All glory to God and all credit to Spirit. I thank Spirit for all the appointed characters and I also thank them for willingly playing their parts.
Now, all I want to say to God is, “I don’t know the way to You.” I relinquish any attempt to try to understand. I want to be wrong about even this–that I need to change myself in any way, that there is anything to be fixed, that I need to figure anything out at all. The easiest thing is to rest and hold no thought in my mind. There is no excuse for choosing the difficult way any more. “I don’t know the way to You. I am waiting for You to reach me, God. And I have nothing but an open mind and a grateful heart. Amen.”